1
00:00:36,350 --> 00:00:38,669
OK, five hours to go.

2
00:00:38,670 --> 00:00:40,629
Does Liam like pirates?

3
00:00:40,681 --> 00:00:43,800
Of course! It was Ray's idea.

4
00:00:43,801 --> 00:00:46,120
Who doesn't like pirates?

5
00:00:46,121 --> 00:00:48,279
This is the child who's
scared of Sooty.

6
00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:51,959
Who only lasted three minutes
when we went to see Pirates Of The Caribbean.

7
00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:54,919
And that was just
the advert for ice cream.

8
00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:57,201
Just built the poop deck on
me pirate ship.

9
00:00:57,202 --> 00:01:00,320
Ohh! Never thought I'd get it done.

10
00:01:00,321 --> 00:01:03,681
It's very impressive, Ray. I imagine
you can see it from the moon.

11
00:01:05,001 --> 00:01:10,440
This is amazing.
Liam is gonna be made up.

12
00:01:10,441 --> 00:01:13,041
I wish I'd had a birthday
party like this.

13
00:01:14,601 --> 00:01:17,520
Ray, what else?

14
00:01:17,627 --> 00:01:18,945
Right, yeah, yeah...

15
00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:22,545
You're not doing too much, are
you? End up all stressed out?

16
00:01:22,621 --> 00:01:23,900
Look how calm I am.

17
00:01:23,901 --> 00:01:27,022
I was just saying to Ray before that
I feel really, really...

18
00:01:27,023 --> 00:01:29,821
Calm. We both are.

19
00:01:29,822 --> 00:01:32,262
Look at me parrot cake.
It's all homemade!

20
00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:35,181
Can we see now?

21
00:01:35,182 --> 00:01:37,062
No, can you wait till later?

22
00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:42,781
Mum, isn't this great? Oh, yeah!
Ray found it on eBay.

23
00:01:42,782 --> 00:01:45,861
�15, plus postage from Afghanistan.

24
00:01:45,862 --> 00:01:49,502
Do you know what?
I've never been so organised.

25
00:01:50,462 --> 00:01:52,301
Now, I wouldn't do that...

26
00:01:52,302 --> 00:01:54,942
Uh-uh, sexist! I know what I'm doing.

27
00:02:14,702 --> 00:02:18,300
Thank you so much for this, Mum.
I don't know what I'd have done.

28
00:02:18,301 --> 00:02:20,300
I've let everyone know
the change of address.

29
00:02:20,301 --> 00:02:22,980
It's fine but I've only agreed to
do it on the proviso

30
00:02:22,981 --> 00:02:24,900
that you cut back and don't go mad.

31
00:02:24,901 --> 00:02:27,700
I've cancelled the performing
octopus. OK?

32
00:02:27,701 --> 00:02:29,862
I'm only thinking of you. And me.

33
00:02:29,863 --> 00:02:34,501
I'm calm. Completely calm!
Oh, yeah, I can see that!

34
00:02:34,502 --> 00:02:37,100
Isn't it a shame Ray's gone
to all that trouble

35
00:02:37,101 --> 00:02:39,840
building that pirate ship and he's
not gonna be able to use it?

36
00:02:39,932 --> 00:02:41,291
Oh, no, he's brought it.

37
00:02:41,292 --> 00:02:44,611
Luckily it was a flat pack so you
just use it again and again.

38
00:02:44,612 --> 00:02:46,453
But where's he going to put it?

39
00:02:46,454 --> 00:02:47,893
There.

40
00:02:55,373 --> 00:02:56,852
What about my plants?

41
00:02:56,853 --> 00:02:58,453
Ray, watch me mum's plants.

42
00:02:58,454 --> 00:03:00,692
They'll be fine. Isn't it great?

43
00:03:00,693 --> 00:03:02,693
Oh, yeah! So
glad you've brought it!

44
00:03:03,813 --> 00:03:05,332
What are those?

45
00:03:05,333 --> 00:03:07,131
Me oars. Got to have the oars.

46
00:03:07,132 --> 00:03:09,453
What for?
All for the dressing! The look.

47
00:03:10,853 --> 00:03:12,813
You looking forward to this, kids?

48
00:03:12,814 --> 00:03:13,933
I hate pirates.

49
00:03:14,933 --> 00:03:16,533
It's all gonna end in tears.

50
00:03:20,933 --> 00:03:23,172
Ray is so excited.

51
00:03:23,173 --> 00:03:25,091
Oh, I know.
Is this party for Liam or Ray?

52
00:03:25,092 --> 00:03:27,931
You know when he was a kid,
he never had a birthday party.

53
00:03:27,932 --> 00:03:30,773
So it is for Ray. You know what his
mum and dad are like,

54
00:03:30,774 --> 00:03:33,412
they'd even put a downer on a wake.

55
00:03:33,413 --> 00:03:36,772
Ohh, might be a surprise for
you later!

56
00:03:36,773 --> 00:03:40,012
What?
You know I don't like surprises.

57
00:03:40,013 --> 00:03:44,452
You'll have to wait and see.
Right, what does this say?

58
00:03:44,453 --> 00:03:46,693
"Sandcastles"?
What was I doing with sandcastles?

59
00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:52,012
"Sandwiches". I'm on top of them,
what next?

60
00:03:52,013 --> 00:03:56,012
Oh, Mum! I didn't want them
sliced like that!

61
00:03:56,013 --> 00:04:00,053
I wanted them in little triangles,
like boats, not squares.

62
00:04:00,054 --> 00:04:02,612
You can cut the squares cross ways.

63
00:04:02,613 --> 00:04:06,091
Then they'll be too small! They're
meant to be galleons, not dinghies.

64
00:04:06,092 --> 00:04:09,611
Well, maybe you should have said!
Or maybe you should have done them yourself.

65
00:04:09,612 --> 00:04:13,571
Have we got enough bread left
to start all over again? You can't be serious!

66
00:04:13,572 --> 00:04:16,653
I'll get Ray to go to
the shop and get some more.

67
00:04:16,654 --> 00:04:20,812
Oh, Paula... It's fine,
it's ages before the kids arrive.

68
00:04:20,813 --> 00:04:22,453
What time are they coming?

69
00:04:23,533 --> 00:04:26,132
Ray, don't put the crows' nest there!

70
00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:28,493
Calm, calm...

71
00:04:29,613 --> 00:04:31,691
Come on,
we've all been sitting in the car.

72
00:04:31,692 --> 00:04:34,451
We can't wait all day, you know.
There's a party with my name on it.

73
00:04:34,452 --> 00:04:37,413
I'm not feeling great.
I might sit this one out.

74
00:04:37,414 --> 00:04:40,492
Oh, Mand! I just feel a bit ugh.

75
00:04:40,493 --> 00:04:42,531
Why don't you try,
"the dog ate my homework."

76
00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:47,331
You should have said you had the
squits. Cos no one thinks you'd lie about it if you didn't have them.

77
00:04:47,332 --> 00:04:49,211
You know how
I love a birthday party.

78
00:04:49,212 --> 00:04:53,173
Well, you go then! I really do feel
sick. I'm not putting it on.

79
00:04:53,174 --> 00:04:54,852
OK, well prove it. How?

80
00:04:54,853 --> 00:04:56,211
By coming to the party.

81
00:04:56,212 --> 00:04:58,771
So you're saying if I come to
the party, I really am ill

82
00:04:58,772 --> 00:05:01,091
and if I stay at home,
I'm putting it on. Yeah.

83
00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:03,413
A sort of witches' ducking
stool logic?

84
00:05:03,414 --> 00:05:05,933
Exactly. Well, come on.

85
00:05:09,773 --> 00:05:10,813
Pirate ship's up.

86
00:05:11,813 --> 00:05:13,612
That was quick.

87
00:05:13,613 --> 00:05:16,211
Special quick release bolts
for ease of assembly.

88
00:05:16,212 --> 00:05:18,211
That must be what's blocking
out the daylight.

89
00:05:18,212 --> 00:05:20,293
Did you need planning
permission for that?

90
00:05:20,294 --> 00:05:25,293
I actually did check, but for a
temporary structure, we're fine.

91
00:05:26,533 --> 00:05:28,411
I hope I've done enough butties?

92
00:05:28,412 --> 00:05:33,091
Well, how many people have
we got coming? There's all us lot. That's... nine.

93
00:05:33,092 --> 00:05:37,171
Liam's best friend Kirk, Mitchell,
if he's got over his mumps.

94
00:05:37,172 --> 00:05:40,933
Shaky Stevie,
who he sits next to in class... I think I'll do a few more rounds.

95
00:05:40,934 --> 00:05:41,973
Yeah.

96
00:05:42,973 --> 00:05:45,891
I'll need to do loads more
if you keep scoffing them.

97
00:05:45,892 --> 00:05:48,611
They're nice. You'll have to do a
few more anyway

98
00:05:48,612 --> 00:05:50,533
cos me mum and dad are coming.

99
00:05:50,534 --> 00:05:54,092
Ah, are they? That's nice for you.

100
00:05:54,093 --> 00:05:57,211
I can't believe it. They've never
been to any of the kids' birthdays.

101
00:05:57,212 --> 00:06:00,531
Always said that they couldn't
bear to be in a room with a load of smelly kids.

102
00:06:00,532 --> 00:06:01,893
But they're coming this time.

103
00:06:01,894 --> 00:06:03,452
Can't wait to see 'em.

104
00:06:03,453 --> 00:06:05,053
I just hope they like it all.

105
00:06:06,093 --> 00:06:08,651
And I just want Liam
to have the bestest day

106
00:06:08,652 --> 00:06:10,413
and remember this forever.

107
00:06:13,013 --> 00:06:14,092
The last one.

108
00:06:14,093 --> 00:06:19,692
I just hope we're on top of
everything. Right, Long John Silver time!

109
00:06:19,693 --> 00:06:22,732
What else? What else?

110
00:06:22,733 --> 00:06:25,013
Can you wrap the presents for
pass the parcel?

111
00:06:25,014 --> 00:06:26,372
Yes.

112
00:06:26,373 --> 00:06:30,931
Presents, all pirate-themed. I want
four parcels. One present at the end and one in between each layer.

113
00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:34,573
I'm not doing that!
There's just one present at the end.

114
00:06:34,574 --> 00:06:35,812
You've got to.

115
00:06:35,813 --> 00:06:39,811
But if everyone wins a present every
time, who cares about the winner?

116
00:06:39,812 --> 00:06:43,131
I know it's weird but last year,
I did just presents at the end

117
00:06:43,132 --> 00:06:46,013
and I had tears all the way through.
But, Paula... Just do it!

118
00:06:46,014 --> 00:06:51,372
Right, that is it! I don't need
this. I'm downing tools.

119
00:06:51,373 --> 00:06:54,052
Oh, no, Mother,
please don't leave me.

120
00:06:54,053 --> 00:06:57,051
I've been up since six this
morning. I really need you.

121
00:06:57,052 --> 00:06:59,653
Well, you've got to stop
biting me head off.

122
00:06:59,654 --> 00:07:03,053
It's a children's party,
for pity's sake!

123
00:07:04,093 --> 00:07:07,652
Hello? Are we bit early?

124
00:07:07,653 --> 00:07:09,732
Yeah!

125
00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:13,171
That pirate ship's boss.
Shall I come back and pick her up in a couple of hours?

126
00:07:13,172 --> 00:07:15,133
What time are you expecting
everyone?

127
00:07:15,134 --> 00:07:18,252
Not until two. It's two now.

128
00:07:18,253 --> 00:07:19,693
No it's not, it's ten to one.

129
00:07:19,694 --> 00:07:22,212
I make it two. Me too.

130
00:07:22,213 --> 00:07:24,332
No, no, no. It's ten to one.

131
00:07:24,333 --> 00:07:27,571
Well, either we're all an hour
and ten minutes fast

132
00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:31,093
or your watch has stopped.
Now, which do you think it is?

133
00:07:31,094 --> 00:07:32,253
It's ten to...

134
00:07:34,813 --> 00:07:38,252
OK, point made.
My watch has stopped.

135
00:07:38,253 --> 00:07:41,971
It's two o' clock and I haven't done
anything. Oh, my God!

136
00:07:41,972 --> 00:07:43,571
Shall we disappear for a bit?

137
00:07:43,572 --> 00:07:47,573
Why don't you take the kids to
play on the multi-storey car park

138
00:07:47,574 --> 00:07:50,572
outside
while we get everything together?

139
00:07:50,573 --> 00:07:53,973
I haven't even done
any of the jellies or anything!

140
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:55,173
Right...

141
00:08:01,893 --> 00:08:05,093
Sit down.
Drink this and just relax.

142
00:08:08,013 --> 00:08:11,772
It's not just about the kids.
It means so much to Ray.

143
00:08:11,773 --> 00:08:15,773
I know. Right, I'll do the pass the
parcel and you'll do...?

144
00:08:16,893 --> 00:08:18,971
Eye patches.
I haven't done them yet.

145
00:08:18,972 --> 00:08:21,093
Good. Yes, I think
I need one of these.

146
00:08:24,533 --> 00:08:26,851
There's not going to be any
pirates, are there?

147
00:08:26,852 --> 00:08:30,293
No. But I saw me dad with a hat with
skull and crossbones on...

148
00:08:30,294 --> 00:08:33,653
Shush! Can you go outside and play,
please?

149
00:08:40,813 --> 00:08:43,972
Ho-ho! Ray's excelled himself
this time.

150
00:08:43,973 --> 00:08:46,332
I'm speechless. That's a first.

151
00:08:46,333 --> 00:08:48,573
This is the best thing
I've ever seen.

152
00:08:48,574 --> 00:08:50,372
Can we set fire to it?

153
00:08:50,373 --> 00:08:52,691
Why don't you ever make
anything like this for us?

154
00:08:52,692 --> 00:08:56,093
Probably because I'm a huge
disappointment to you on a daily basis.

155
00:08:56,094 --> 00:09:00,652
Yeah, that's why... We're here!
Let's get this party started!

156
00:09:00,653 --> 00:09:03,251
Right, where's the jelly?
Aren't you glad you came?

157
00:09:03,252 --> 00:09:05,853
I'm telling you now,
I'm not playing any games.

158
00:09:05,854 --> 00:09:07,532
Can one of you get it?

159
00:09:07,533 --> 00:09:10,371
It'll just be more early kids
arriving early. On time, actually...

160
00:09:10,372 --> 00:09:13,973
That'll be me mum and dad. Don't let
them see me. I'm not ready yet.

161
00:09:13,974 --> 00:09:16,373
Oh, hello. Mum, it's your friends.

162
00:09:17,373 --> 00:09:20,331
You've come at a tricky time,
we're a bit busy right now.

163
00:09:20,332 --> 00:09:24,331
Oh, we know. Your mum told us
what a nightmare you've been having.

164
00:09:24,332 --> 00:09:26,933
So we thought it was
time for the cavalry.

165
00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:31,453
Oh, right. OK, erm... Come in.

166
00:09:38,133 --> 00:09:42,173
Hello, hello!

167
00:09:44,173 --> 00:09:46,173
Just throw it all in the mix.

168
00:09:50,373 --> 00:09:53,372
This is so kind, isn't it, Paula?

169
00:09:53,373 --> 00:09:55,573
I've brought some of me
Pixar boxsets

170
00:09:55,574 --> 00:09:58,092
if the kids want to watch any films.

171
00:09:58,093 --> 00:10:02,333
I've made some little friends,
should there be a lull in proceedings.

172
00:10:02,334 --> 00:10:07,813
"Hello, everybody, I am
Mr Verucca from the planet Pong!"

173
00:10:10,293 --> 00:10:11,372
Great!

174
00:10:11,373 --> 00:10:14,333
And Eileen said about your cake,
all destroyed.

175
00:10:14,334 --> 00:10:18,692
So I baked you a new one.
I even made it look like a carrot.

176
00:10:18,693 --> 00:10:21,453
I thought the kids would like that.

177
00:10:23,333 --> 00:10:25,332
It was a parrot cake.

178
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:29,372
No, no! It's lovely. Thank you!

179
00:10:29,373 --> 00:10:32,092
It's wonderful, isn't it, Paula?

180
00:10:32,093 --> 00:10:33,213
Yeah, great.

181
00:10:36,413 --> 00:10:40,413
Your mum said you sometimes get
a little over worked on these occasions.

182
00:10:40,414 --> 00:10:45,532
So I've got Kalms or Quiet Life
tablets here if you want them.

183
00:10:45,533 --> 00:10:48,652
Valium if it gets really bad.

184
00:10:48,653 --> 00:10:51,253
And I know a smackhead who'll
sell you his methadone

185
00:10:51,254 --> 00:10:53,532
if it all gets too much.

186
00:10:53,533 --> 00:10:55,613
But you might want that afterwards.

187
00:10:55,614 --> 00:10:57,133
Right, OK. Thanks.

188
00:10:58,293 --> 00:11:02,093
Could do with one meself. Lucky dip.

189
00:11:14,453 --> 00:11:15,493
Ah-arr.

190
00:11:22,413 --> 00:11:24,852
See, it's all fine now.

191
00:11:24,853 --> 00:11:28,532
Brilliant.
That whisky certainly helped.

192
00:11:28,533 --> 00:11:31,212
There's none in there, is there?

193
00:11:31,213 --> 00:11:33,093
Aha, me hearties!

194
00:11:34,893 --> 00:11:37,292
Young Liam, don't be afrightened...

195
00:11:37,293 --> 00:11:39,533
He's coming for me!

196
00:11:44,893 --> 00:11:46,852
Great. What did I say?

197
00:11:46,853 --> 00:11:49,533
You would have been better getting
zombies as a theme.

198
00:11:49,534 --> 00:11:52,972
Shall I go after him? No, I'll go.

199
00:11:52,973 --> 00:11:54,013
He'll be fine.

200
00:11:56,653 --> 00:11:59,411
Eh, Pete, I made them
especially for you.

201
00:11:59,412 --> 00:12:02,771
Ta, Mum, I love jelly - you know
Mandy will never let me have it.

202
00:12:02,772 --> 00:12:04,931
You've always loved
a birthday party tea.

203
00:12:04,932 --> 00:12:08,611
You can't beat 'em. Me dad used to
love all this as well.

204
00:12:08,612 --> 00:12:12,891
Ah, yeah. Don't know what he'd have
made of the Cutty Sark in the garden, though.

205
00:12:12,892 --> 00:12:15,173
Cheese and pineapple pirate ship,
Nan?

206
00:12:15,174 --> 00:12:17,132
Oh, go on.

207
00:12:17,133 --> 00:12:19,731
Oh, my God, get it away from me.
You all right?

208
00:12:19,732 --> 00:12:22,411
It's that cheese...
it's making me feel ill.

209
00:12:22,412 --> 00:12:23,933
It's only Cathedral City.

210
00:12:25,173 --> 00:12:26,773
Aren't you feeling well?

211
00:12:26,774 --> 00:12:28,052
I did say.

212
00:12:28,053 --> 00:12:29,933
OK, you've made your point, then.

213
00:12:31,173 --> 00:12:32,891
The last time you were like this

214
00:12:32,892 --> 00:12:35,333
was when you were having Ethan
and Melissa.

215
00:12:35,334 --> 00:12:39,252
Oh, yeah. Cheese,
anything stinky in the fridge,

216
00:12:39,253 --> 00:12:41,131
Pete's aftershave or feet...

217
00:12:41,132 --> 00:12:42,653
Think you might be pregnant?

218
00:12:42,654 --> 00:12:45,852
Of course not!
Be something you've eaten.

219
00:12:45,853 --> 00:12:49,132
No. No.

220
00:12:49,133 --> 00:12:51,252
No.

221
00:12:51,253 --> 00:12:53,853
No? No!

222
00:12:58,253 --> 00:13:02,012
If I'm pregnant,
you're gonna get it.

223
00:13:02,013 --> 00:13:03,173
And not in a good way.

224
00:13:06,373 --> 00:13:09,092
Liam, come down now, love.

225
00:13:09,093 --> 00:13:10,973
You're missing your own party.

226
00:13:12,973 --> 00:13:15,213
Maybe you should take that
costume off.

227
00:13:15,214 --> 00:13:17,892
I want me mum
and dad to see it first.

228
00:13:17,893 --> 00:13:19,411
Are we expecting anyone else?

229
00:13:19,412 --> 00:13:22,493
No, that'll be them.
Bit late, but never mind...

230
00:13:30,853 --> 00:13:33,012
Hello, Eileen.

231
00:13:33,013 --> 00:13:34,812
Ray.

232
00:13:34,813 --> 00:13:35,892
All right.

233
00:13:35,893 --> 00:13:38,212
Maurice. What are you doing here?

234
00:13:38,213 --> 00:13:40,092
Just passing...

235
00:13:40,093 --> 00:13:44,052
Hey, you made it. Great!

236
00:13:44,053 --> 00:13:48,572
Come in, you got the message then,
about the change of location?

237
00:13:48,573 --> 00:13:52,852
Come on! Ahh. Nice surprise,
isn't it?

238
00:13:52,853 --> 00:13:54,373
You invited him?

239
00:13:59,133 --> 00:14:02,573
I was just passing through this
part of the world to visit

240
00:14:02,574 --> 00:14:05,212
my cousin in Southport

241
00:14:05,213 --> 00:14:09,732
and then, when I knew it was Liam's
birthday, well!

242
00:14:09,733 --> 00:14:12,531
I didn't know you were all
still in touch.

243
00:14:12,532 --> 00:14:17,253
Well, me and the kids are. Through
Facebook. They're always poking me.

244
00:14:17,254 --> 00:14:19,133
Hi, kids.

245
00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:22,413
It's Uncle Maurice. All right?

246
00:14:24,573 --> 00:14:26,132
He's not your uncle.

247
00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:28,532
Did you bring us any us prezzies?

248
00:14:28,533 --> 00:14:30,733
Yeah, what did you get us?
Is it your birthday?

249
00:14:30,734 --> 00:14:35,012
No. No. Well, I haven't brought
you anything, then.

250
00:14:35,013 --> 00:14:37,812
Hey, where's the birthday boy, then?

251
00:14:37,813 --> 00:14:39,213
Locked in the bathroom.

252
00:14:39,214 --> 00:14:41,213
Oh, right.

253
00:14:43,613 --> 00:14:44,653
All right, Ray?

254
00:14:47,173 --> 00:14:51,612
On Planet Pong
I eat toenails for tea!

255
00:14:51,613 --> 00:14:53,253
Ladies.

256
00:14:55,813 --> 00:14:57,773
Pete. Mandy.

257
00:15:01,533 --> 00:15:05,333
This is great.
I'm really glad I came!

258
00:15:09,813 --> 00:15:10,852
Who's he?

259
00:15:10,853 --> 00:15:13,012
Some bloke we met on holiday.

260
00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:14,291
What's he doing here?

261
00:15:14,292 --> 00:15:15,933
That's a very good question.

262
00:15:21,773 --> 00:15:23,252
What if it is true?

263
00:15:23,253 --> 00:15:27,132
It's just a bug. What about that
frozen paella you had?

264
00:15:27,133 --> 00:15:28,491
It was only you who ate it.

265
00:15:28,492 --> 00:15:30,451
This is exactly like the others.

266
00:15:30,452 --> 00:15:33,733
Thought it was prawns,
turned out I was preggers.

267
00:15:33,734 --> 00:15:37,652
Mum...? Get it away from me.
Get it away from me.

268
00:15:37,653 --> 00:15:42,211
You're here now. You don't need to
keep putting it on. Drama queen.

269
00:15:42,212 --> 00:15:43,773
Maybe this could be a good thing.

270
00:15:43,774 --> 00:15:45,652
How could it?

271
00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:51,011
A few more years, they would
have left home and I could have got me sanity back.

272
00:15:51,012 --> 00:15:54,131
I'm too old and too knackered to
start all over again.

273
00:15:54,132 --> 00:15:55,851
But you loved it
when they were little.

274
00:15:55,852 --> 00:15:58,051
Before they turned into the monsters
they are now.

275
00:15:58,052 --> 00:16:01,213
When they were all cuddly
and had peachy biteable bums.

276
00:16:01,214 --> 00:16:05,293
Maybe... this is just what we need.

277
00:16:06,573 --> 00:16:10,493
Do you think? Maybe you're right.

278
00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:14,733
Oh, yeah, bring it on!

279
00:16:17,253 --> 00:16:18,293
Thanks, Jack.

280
00:16:19,533 --> 00:16:22,933
He said he's having a great time
and not to worry.

281
00:16:22,934 --> 00:16:25,053
This is ridiculous. Liam!

282
00:16:26,173 --> 00:16:28,532
And what's Maurice doing here?

283
00:16:28,533 --> 00:16:30,451
You heard, he was in the area.

284
00:16:30,452 --> 00:16:33,251
Is that my surprise?
Yeah! Isn't it great?

285
00:16:33,252 --> 00:16:36,171
Yeah! I'm over the moon!
I thought you liked him.

286
00:16:36,172 --> 00:16:38,773
I did until he tried to
get off with me in a wigwam.

287
00:16:38,774 --> 00:16:42,092
Oh, naughty Maurice!
That was ages ago.

288
00:16:42,093 --> 00:16:43,413
What are you drinking?

289
00:16:43,414 --> 00:16:44,453
Cokey-Cola.

290
00:16:45,733 --> 00:16:48,972
That is 90 per cent whisky.
You've had enough.

291
00:16:48,973 --> 00:16:51,292
I'm... just loosening up.

292
00:16:51,293 --> 00:16:54,653
I think you're plenty loose.
Where've you put the bottle?

293
00:16:54,654 --> 00:16:55,773
I've hidden it.

294
00:16:56,893 --> 00:16:59,571
What did you use to stick
your homemade eye patches together?

295
00:16:59,572 --> 00:17:01,693
Just some glue from your tool box.

296
00:17:01,694 --> 00:17:04,732
In the bright yellow tube.

297
00:17:04,733 --> 00:17:07,212
Me extra-strong super glue. Great.

298
00:17:07,213 --> 00:17:09,933
The glue has leaked out
and now they won't come off.

299
00:17:14,773 --> 00:17:15,813
They love 'em.

300
00:17:17,813 --> 00:17:20,893
What's got into her?
I've never seen her like this.

301
00:17:20,894 --> 00:17:26,413
No idea.
Liam, come on. Open up for Nan.

302
00:17:30,293 --> 00:17:32,692
Who wants to watch a film?

303
00:17:32,693 --> 00:17:38,492
I think we all do, don't we?
What about Ratatouille?

304
00:17:38,493 --> 00:17:42,412
Is that the one with the French
rats? Why not.

305
00:17:42,413 --> 00:17:48,053
I'm just going across to the chemist
to get something for removing super glue from children's skin.

306
00:17:48,054 --> 00:17:52,652
Don't ask. While you're there,
will you get a...? A what?

307
00:17:52,653 --> 00:17:54,413
You know...

308
00:17:56,573 --> 00:17:57,933
You what? I can't hear you.

309
00:17:57,934 --> 00:17:59,333
You know, a...

310
00:18:03,293 --> 00:18:05,533
I haven't got a clue what
any of that was.

311
00:18:05,534 --> 00:18:06,973
A pregnancy tester!

312
00:18:12,413 --> 00:18:13,453
Got you that time.

313
00:18:23,733 --> 00:18:26,891
First chance I've had to
get something to eat. I'm famished.

314
00:18:26,892 --> 00:18:28,932
It's so good to see you again.

315
00:18:28,933 --> 00:18:30,853
Well, it's certainly a surprise.

316
00:18:31,893 --> 00:18:33,972
How've you been?

317
00:18:33,973 --> 00:18:36,612
Well, I'm doing all right just now.

318
00:18:36,613 --> 00:18:39,413
I'm not sure it was a good idea
to have the party here.

319
00:18:41,293 --> 00:18:47,413
Oh! Melissa, don't be throwing Wagon
Wheels out of the crows' nest!

320
00:18:50,093 --> 00:18:54,972
We never did speak about what
happened when we were away.

321
00:18:54,973 --> 00:18:57,013
Oh, look, don't worry,
it's long gone.

322
00:18:57,014 --> 00:18:58,053
Of course.

323
00:19:01,373 --> 00:19:04,933
You've got a lovely place.
It's usually a bit calmer than this.

324
00:19:06,133 --> 00:19:09,772
I'm travelling round visiting folks

325
00:19:09,773 --> 00:19:12,252
because I find it a bit...

326
00:19:12,253 --> 00:19:14,532
solitary at home.

327
00:19:14,533 --> 00:19:18,972
I like to be out and about
and meet people.

328
00:19:18,973 --> 00:19:20,573
Hmmm.

329
00:19:23,813 --> 00:19:24,853
Do you find that?

330
00:19:24,854 --> 00:19:28,973
No, no, I like my own space
sometimes.

331
00:19:31,693 --> 00:19:33,492
Have you had some food?

332
00:19:33,493 --> 00:19:35,212
Oh, yes, thank you.

333
00:19:35,213 --> 00:19:37,892
But don't you think it'd be nice
to...

334
00:19:37,893 --> 00:19:41,813
share your life with anyone again?

335
00:19:43,293 --> 00:19:47,533
Well, I'm quite caught up in getting
through this party at the moment...

336
00:19:47,534 --> 00:19:52,853
Because you know, I do think that
we had a very special connection.

337
00:19:54,933 --> 00:19:56,053
If you have that...

338
00:19:56,054 --> 00:19:57,933
No, not this again.

339
00:20:00,493 --> 00:20:02,411
Melissa, what have I told you?

340
00:20:02,412 --> 00:20:04,973
She's gonna have someone's eye out
with those pizza slices.

341
00:20:14,013 --> 00:20:16,493
I've called them
but there's no answer.

342
00:20:16,494 --> 00:20:18,412
Who?

343
00:20:18,413 --> 00:20:19,452
Me mum and dad.

344
00:20:19,453 --> 00:20:23,372
Oh, well.
This is a great party, isn't it?

345
00:20:23,373 --> 00:20:28,772
Do you still think they might come?
No. Maybe they're stuck in traffic.

346
00:20:28,773 --> 00:20:31,972
They live four streets away.

347
00:20:31,973 --> 00:20:34,171
I really wanted them
to come just for once

348
00:20:34,172 --> 00:20:36,331
and see what a proper kids'
party is like.

349
00:20:36,332 --> 00:20:38,133
We have gone to so much trouble!

350
00:20:39,173 --> 00:20:41,453
I might as well take all this off.

351
00:20:41,454 --> 00:20:42,932
Shall I put it on?

352
00:20:42,933 --> 00:20:47,773
You what? Have you ever tried
putting a chocolate finger in a fizzy drink?

353
00:20:49,013 --> 00:20:50,413
Have you been drinking?

354
00:20:52,533 --> 00:20:55,533
No, shush. Don't tell me mum.

355
00:20:57,573 --> 00:21:02,092
She thinks I've been necking
all the whisky... and I have.

356
00:21:02,093 --> 00:21:06,612
I feel fantastic!
What is the point in being stressed?

357
00:21:06,613 --> 00:21:10,133
Walk the plank! We haven't done
walk the plank-ness!

358
00:21:12,853 --> 00:21:14,571
Just saw Weird Steve from next door.

359
00:21:14,572 --> 00:21:17,291
He said the kids are looking
in his bedroom from the crow's nest.

360
00:21:17,292 --> 00:21:19,213
Did you tell him to sod off? Yep.

361
00:21:19,214 --> 00:21:20,292
Good.

362
00:21:20,293 --> 00:21:21,893
And this is for you.

363
00:21:22,973 --> 00:21:24,611
I'm too terrified to find out.

364
00:21:24,612 --> 00:21:26,933
We're better off knowing.
It'll be nothing.

365
00:21:34,453 --> 00:21:36,853
Who's in there?
It's me, Liam, Auntie Mandy.

366
00:21:36,854 --> 00:21:40,212
Have you been in there
the whole time?

367
00:21:40,213 --> 00:21:44,892
Yeah. It's peaceful in here.
I've just had a bath.

368
00:21:44,893 --> 00:21:46,451
Come on, out of there now.

369
00:21:46,452 --> 00:21:48,973
Do I have to?
I was just about to have a facial.

370
00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:50,133
Yeah, now.

371
00:21:52,653 --> 00:21:56,412
Go on, go downstairs.
No more messing about.

372
00:21:56,413 --> 00:22:00,573
Oo-arr! Who's next to walk the plank,
landlubbers?

373
00:22:02,613 --> 00:22:04,532
Oh!

374
00:22:04,533 --> 00:22:08,373
Oh, hiya, Eye, sorry about...
I hope you don't mind me...

375
00:22:08,374 --> 00:22:09,413
It's fine.

376
00:22:15,373 --> 00:22:16,971
They're not coming, are they?

377
00:22:16,972 --> 00:22:18,493
Doesn't look like it, no.

378
00:22:21,573 --> 00:22:24,133
I wish I had a family like yours,
Eileen.

379
00:22:24,134 --> 00:22:28,093
You have. This is your family.

380
00:22:29,733 --> 00:22:31,253
Come here, you daft apeth.

381
00:22:44,053 --> 00:22:45,933
Are you sure none of the kids
want to play?

382
00:22:45,934 --> 00:22:47,412
It appears not.

383
00:22:47,413 --> 00:22:49,213
Keep it moving.

384
00:22:55,893 --> 00:22:57,652
Oh, it's me!

385
00:22:57,653 --> 00:23:01,173
Hey! No cheating, you.
Only one layer.

386
00:23:03,413 --> 00:23:04,453
Still more to go.

387
00:23:06,053 --> 00:23:09,213
I like it when you get a little
something in between each layer.

388
00:23:19,693 --> 00:23:21,013
Sod it.

389
00:23:22,533 --> 00:23:27,572
Stay right where you are. Just
getting a top up.

390
00:23:27,573 --> 00:23:29,052
You found it.

391
00:23:29,053 --> 00:23:32,811
Yeah, and you're not having any
more. When will this ordeal be over?

392
00:23:32,812 --> 00:23:36,131
We're just getting going.
Oh, no, I'm run ragged here.

393
00:23:36,132 --> 00:23:40,253
You're pilatic, and Maurice is
making moves on me again. What next?

394
00:23:40,254 --> 00:23:41,452
Where is Maurice?

395
00:23:41,453 --> 00:23:43,932
Hopefully, he's gone.

396
00:23:43,933 --> 00:23:45,693
Can I come down now?

397
00:23:50,093 --> 00:23:51,813
What the hell's going on here?

398
00:23:53,493 --> 00:23:55,252
She's lost the plot, Nan.

399
00:23:55,253 --> 00:23:57,692
Walk the plank. Isn't it great?

400
00:23:57,693 --> 00:23:58,971
Get that child down.

401
00:23:58,972 --> 00:24:01,813
You get one question wrong,
you take one more step towards

402
00:24:01,814 --> 00:24:03,412
the crocodiles.

403
00:24:03,413 --> 00:24:05,931
What was the name of the pirate
Johnny Depp...

404
00:24:05,932 --> 00:24:09,253
Paula, will you get him
down and get that blindfold off!

405
00:24:11,653 --> 00:24:13,493
And what's wrong with these two?

406
00:24:13,494 --> 00:24:16,052
They got their questions wrong.

407
00:24:16,053 --> 00:24:18,731
They're just being oversensitive.
No bones broken.

408
00:24:18,732 --> 00:24:20,373
Right, who wants another go?

409
00:24:21,973 --> 00:24:23,893
What the hell's going on in there?

410
00:24:25,293 --> 00:24:27,373
Heaven help us!

411
00:24:31,173 --> 00:24:32,493
Maureen and Maurice!

412
00:24:32,494 --> 00:24:34,372
You better not look.

413
00:24:34,373 --> 00:24:35,973
Oh, get a room.

414
00:24:47,813 --> 00:24:49,331
You'd better stock up on sleep

415
00:24:49,332 --> 00:24:52,093
because in eight months' time,
you won't be getting any.

416
00:24:52,094 --> 00:24:54,133
No? Oh, yeah.

417
00:25:02,493 --> 00:25:03,533
I'm so sorry.

418
00:25:06,453 --> 00:25:12,373
Hey! Oh, don't go. Don't leave!
We've got loads more games!

419
00:25:14,373 --> 00:25:16,493
The party's just getting started!

420
00:25:17,933 --> 00:25:19,852
It's a bloody madhouse.

421
00:25:19,853 --> 00:25:21,373
Take them straight to AandE.

422
00:25:26,853 --> 00:25:27,973
Whee!

423
00:25:40,253 --> 00:25:44,932
Oh, dear, I'm pooped.
You got through it, well done, Nan.

424
00:25:44,933 --> 00:25:48,332
Thank you. Just got a text
off me mum.

425
00:25:48,333 --> 00:25:52,051
They went to Cheshire Oaks - there
was a great sale on, apparently.

426
00:25:52,052 --> 00:25:55,333
She actually said
she probably didn't miss that much.

427
00:25:57,453 --> 00:25:59,292
I knew they wouldn't come.

428
00:25:59,293 --> 00:26:01,253
Their loss, lovey.

429
00:26:02,333 --> 00:26:06,732
I thought it was about time
I came down. Where is everyone?

430
00:26:06,733 --> 00:26:11,332
Come here.
I saved you a bit of birthday cake.

431
00:26:11,333 --> 00:26:14,852
Hey. Sorry about that pirate
costume.

432
00:26:14,853 --> 00:26:17,893
Was that you? You should have said.

433
00:26:19,453 --> 00:26:21,012
What a great party.

434
00:26:21,013 --> 00:26:22,413
Well, it was different.

435
00:26:23,973 --> 00:26:26,692
OK, everyone, I've got some news.

436
00:26:26,693 --> 00:26:29,373
You are going to be
a grandmother again.

437
00:26:29,374 --> 00:26:32,972
Really! Oh!

438
00:26:32,973 --> 00:26:34,293
You what?

439
00:26:36,573 --> 00:26:39,053
I was right about the retching.
Yeah.

440
00:26:39,054 --> 00:26:42,132
Was it planned? What do you reckon?

441
00:26:42,133 --> 00:26:45,132
Oh, that's wonderful.

442
00:26:45,133 --> 00:26:47,573
Maybe it is. Maybe.

443
00:26:48,933 --> 00:26:51,973
Hey, come on everyone,
congratulations!

444
00:26:59,333 --> 00:27:01,813
And don't think you're palming it
off on me!

445
00:27:02,853 --> 00:27:05,012
What are they talking about?

446
00:27:05,013 --> 00:27:06,533
Auntie Mandy's gonna have a baby!

447
00:27:06,534 --> 00:27:07,693
How?

448
00:27:10,053 --> 00:27:11,373
Isn't it great?

449
00:27:11,423 --> 00:27:15,973
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